The roles of friendships and parent relationships in preadolescents and early adolescents: A separation and individuation perspective

The roles of dyadic friendship and family relationships in promoting separation/individuation and adjustment were examined in a sample of 207 fifth, sixth, eighth, and ninth grade students in a suburban setting. Students completed surveys measuring friendship qualities, relationship to parents, individuation, and perceived self, social, and academic competence. Teachers also completed ratings of the students' social competence and academic achievement. It was hypothesized that pre- and early adolescent same-sex peer relationships can be normatively characterized as having "sameness bonding" and "idealization" components that tap the affective intensity of intimacy in dyadic friendships. Sameness bonding is defined as an intense affective connection based on a sense of unity and sameness. Idealization refers to the view of one's friend as an idealized embodiment of perfection and often taken up as a model of imitation or worship. These two constructs were also compared to the more cognitive measures of peer intimacy.; Gender differences and developmental changes from preadolescence to adolescence were hypothesized. Girls were predicted to have higher levels of sameness bonding, idealization, tolerance for differences, affiliation, and verbal disclosure than boys. It was hypothesized that preadolescents (5th and 6th graders) would have more sameness bonding and idealization but less verbal disclosure, tolerance for differences, and closeness (as rated in open-ended peer descriptions) than older adolescents (8th & 9th graders). Neither age nor gender differences were expected in peer companionship. It was also predicted that there would be associations between the qualities of friendship and the qualities of relating to parents. Finally, the combined and relative contributions of age, gender, parent, and peer relationships in fostering individuation and adjustment were considered. It was hypothesized that peer and parent relationships independently contribute to the young person's level or adjustment and individuation and that girls and older subjects would be more individuated. As normal markers of the individuation process, peer sameness bonding and idealization were expected to be significantly related to individuation.; Results of the study provided strong support for the validity of sameness bonding and idealization of friends as normative components of intimate friendships that reflect and promote individuation at these ages. Age differences in the qualities of friendships did not consistently emerge as hypothesized, however preadolescents viewed their friendships as more idealized and described their friendships as less close than the older group. However gender differences were striking, with girls rating their friendships as significantly higher in idealization, sameness bonding, openness, tolerance for differences, and closeness than boys. Associations between the qualities of peer relationships and family relationships were supported. A model which combined sex, age, parent relationships, and peer relationships in explaining variance in the young person's individuation and competence was significant across all outcome measures (self-reported healthy separation, self-concept, social and academic competencies and teacher-rated social and academic competencies), accounting from 18% to 46% of the variance. Of particular significance was the finding that the quality of peer relationships offered independent contributions to the power of the model after age, sex, and family relationships were considered. Implications for future research and clinical practice are offered.