Icelandic women's experiences of their mothers as sex communicators

Using a phenomenological perspective, this qualitative study investigated Icelandic women's experiences of their mothers as sex communicators during childhood, with the following as primary research questions: (1) How do Icelandic women learn about sex? (2) What role do mothers play in teaching their daughters about sex? (3) How do daughters experience their mothers as sex communicators? Eight English-speaking, Icelandic adult women, ages 20-40, raised by native Icelandic mothers, were recruited and interviewed 4 times for up to 90 minutes per interview in Iceland. Using findings from five participants' stories, three meta-themes emerged from their narratives: (1) a mother's atmosphere of approachability; (2) the transmission of body image messaging from mother to daughter; and (3) the daughter's role in the amount and type of sex communication that took place. A mother created an atmosphere of approachability in her willingness to discuss (or not) sex issues, the degree to which she could be trusted with information, and whether or not she would judge her daughter for sharing. Even when a mother was approachable and willing to talk, a lack of personalization and the need to maintain social norms around privacy played into the experience, influencing the type and quality of the information that was given. A mother's messaging about appearances, whether direct or indirect, ultimately had an impact on a daughter's sexual sense of self. Lastly, daughters felt that the way their mothers handled communication and what they themselves were willing to give (and receive) very much impacted what took place and how. Every participant voluntarily "owned up" to her role in how much direct communication took place and how she did not always seek out her mother for information. The majority had been uncomfortable discussing sex, with those who saw their mother unwilling to discuss avoiding her as a resource altogether.