| The purpose of this study was to pursue an understanding of the divorce experience, with particular focus on Baum's (2003) view that men and women differ in their mourning process: when they mourn, what they mourn, and how they mourn. To explore the process of mourning a divorce, the concepts of Silverman and Nickman (1996) and Rosenblatt (1996) were emphasized. These concepts suggest that full emotional acceptance of a loss rarely occurs and instead healthy mourning involves the successful incorporation of the loss into the present self. Six men and seven women were interviewed using a semi-structured interview protocol, in which the following lines of inquiry were pursued: (a) the difficulties in and breakdown of the marriage and the start of the mourning process and (b) the grieving period. This study used a qualitative methodology, and answers to the interview questions were analyzed thematically using McCracken's (1988) step-wise process approach. The Fisher Divorce Adjustment Scale (Fisher, 2000) was administered to gather additional information and provide context for the qualitative data collected. The results showed that the participants as a group were well adjusted to their divorce. Partially confirming Baum's (2003) hypotheses, the individual interviews revealed gender differences in the following areas: (a) alcohol consumption prior to separation, (b) time spent at work prior to separation, (c) emotional support from friends, (d) the degree to which sex was missed, (e) report of physical and emotional abuse during the marriage, (f) communication problems during the marriage, (g) unwillingness to work on the marriage, (h) arrival of children exacerbating problems in the marriage, and (i) hopes and dreams for the future. The question which sought most directly to elicit answers about whether the men and women had grieved the loss of the marriage in a manner similar to a death yielded no common themes but rather 13 diverse responses. This may suggest that the loss of a life partner through death versus divorce cannot be directly compared or must be done so with greater subtlety and nuance. Clinical implications, limitation of the study, and future directions for research are discussed. |
