"You Are In Me": Intergenerational Intimacy And Individual Development Of Urban Middle-class Families

Based on the analysis of the interview of the intergenerational relationship of 10 families in D city,L province,the paper describes how the intimate relationship of current Chinese middle-class family forms,behaves,and affects the individual development of children in detail.The data of the growth process of the offspring shows that the process of constructing intergenerational intimacy is also the process of the cultivation and inheritance of family habitus.First of all,the intergenerational intimacy of the interviewed family stems from the time-space synchronization of life between parents and children,which is more obvious in the developed Internet era.No matter how far apart parents are from their children,they still live together with online video.Secondly,the intergenerational intimacy of the interviewed family arises from the childhood.Parents provide full and effective participation in their lives equally and authoritatively.They also help their children academically,share extracurricular life,and try to make their children rely on and trust them.Thirdly,when a child enters adulthood,life experiences will promote their empathy experience of their parents'past behaviors,deepen their understanding and recognition of their parents,and greatly stimulate their gratitude and gratitude to their parents.The comparison between two generations shows that the intergenerational intimacy is mainly reflected in the implicitization of the authoritative hierarchical relationship.First of all,it is extremely difficult to enjoy the feeling of being equal and free with their parents in the private space of those parents,however,the offspring take it for granted that they can live with their parents equally,even at the front desk.When it comes to the background,they are even more willful and spoiled.They will also pay more attention to the substantive concern of parents.Secondly,the understanding of the interaction habits that both parents and children take for granted is very different.Parents who are hard to enjoy even their autonomy can never imagine the loss of their children when they are unable to gain parental trust and recognition.Thirdly,implicit does not mean that the authority level relationship disappears.Although children can use their chanting to ridicule their parents,in their hearts,parents still enjoy respect.However,those parents who has been interviewed must show the whole respect to their parents on every aspect,otherwise they will be regarded as a lack of education.An analysis of the life course data of the children at the beginning of the year shows that this transitional stage to adulthood is an important stage in which children develop their intimate relationship with their parents.First of all,it is common for children to enjoy asylum before they leave home,and it is not easy to understand independent life after leaving home.This is the starting point for children to form a close relationship with their parents and get rid of rebellion and reluctance.Second,intergenerational intimacy can give middle-class children more targeted resources and thus provide exclusive help to their children.And more resources will make it easier for children to make informed decisions and achieve twice the result with half the effort.Third,the intergenerational intimacy gives the filial piety a new connotation,that is,the urgency of providing gratitude feedback to parents.Joining the time dimension of "filial piety" will force children to complete the transition to adulthood faster.